The Sunday Morning Sommelier: Blackstone Pinot Noir
Aug 22nd, 2010
Name: Blackstone Pinot Noir
Alcohol content: 13.5%
Price: $8.99
Description per label: Our Blackstone Pinot Noir is sourced throughout California’s finest grape growing regions.
This elegant wine exhibits ripe aromas of black cherry, vanilla, and hints of spice followed by cherry jammy berry and black tea-infused flavors.
Review: It was four years ago today that I returned from a one-week jaunt to Bangkok. The trip was precipitated by a rather exhausting argument with my spouse that lead to an unfortunate exchange of unpleasantries and a corked bottle of Château Lafite Rothschild Bordeaux (1999) being rifled into the fireplace. When the Bordeaux hit the bricks, I booked the trip. Later that evening, I found myself at an airport Applebee’s bar awaiting my flight. I asked the barkeep for their best pinot noir, he shrugged and offered me a glass of Blackstone. I don’t really like to fly internationally sober so I drank my usual five glasses. Sufficiently lubricated, I boarded the plane for my Asian excursion leaving the memories of my spousal spat and this Blackstone blend behind.
Some friends I met on the trip.
I intentionally didn’t redact the description on the bottle to make a few points in fact. When they imply the grapes are sourced throughout the finest growing regions, to me this means they purchase the surplus grapes from the California version of Piggly Wiggly. The assorted grapes are then abused, tortured and mass-produced into what they most unreasonably refer to as elegant.
This pinot noir is a below average wine for even the most average Joe. It is to be relished by the aficionado who enjoys their wine with a Big Mac and french fries. When sampled, I detected the aroma of musty soil, mildew and birch wood. The taste is equally passé with flavors of red grape, coffee grounds, and a delicate touch of gasoline through the finish.
On the SMS scale (1-10) Blackstone scores a limp 2. It is a fitting gift for those asshole neighbors to whom you owe a gift or the holiday office ten-dollar gift exchange.
Suggested pairings: Mayonnaise and the entire Applebee’s appetizer menu.
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Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment
