Boob Evolution

Sep 29th, 2010

I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs. This is mainly because their size fluctuates so much and so often. Here is the maddening timeline of my boob evolution:

Teen years: 32 D. This was the golden era for my boobs. Full, perky and ready to party.

Early 20′s: 34 B. Birth control was introduced and my once large pups disappeared. I also attribute this shrinkage to losing that extra teen poundage that is flattering when you are 16 but just looks chubby when you hit 25.

Pregnancy years: 36 DD. Holy sweet boobs, Batman! I was thrilled to get my girls back. So was my husband and my kids found them useful as well for a few weeks. But these boobs came with a stiff penalty…

1 year post baby: Bye-bye boobies. I like to refer to this dark time as the “great boob depression’. I don’t know my bra size from this period. I do know that they were flat, stretched and just plain sad. If only I could have borrowed some of that remaining pregnancy back fat to stuff in my bra.

Present time: Back to a 34 B. I am at peace with my girls. They don’t look great but I have finally found a fantastic bra that is comfortable and gives the illusion that I could possibly be mistaken for a C cup.

Future: My main priority for their future is to keep them healthy. Secondarily, I must strategically keep my husband away from me. I actually think he would knock me up again just to get the DD’s back.