The Sunday Morning Sommelier: BITCH Grenache
Aug 8th, 2010
Name: BITCH Grenache
Alcohol content: A flammable 15.5%
Price: $9.99
Description per label: Bitch 42x
Review:
Last night, I was asked to attend a tasting at a fellow wine enthusiast’s duplex as a favor to lend the event some credibility. The theme was wines of West Virginia and I was the Key Note drinker. After tasting literally dozens of piss-poor blends, squabbling with my contemporaries about the life span of Riesling and being rogered by the hostess for parking my Austin Healey in the front hedge , I was all too inclined towards total inebriation. As I’ve articulated in the past, I have a proclivity towards the gimmicky labeled libations. When I saw the bottle of BITCH Grenache it reminded me of the disposition of the event’s hostess. I stole the ten-dollar bottle of aged grape juice and headed for the community porch where I remained for the rest of the evening.
For those not in the know, a Grenache is the less popular, overweight cousin of cabernet and merlot. The wine is best served with dessert or as an aperitif. I would warn that drinking this varietal on an empty stomach could lead to the same burning sensation one could expect from sipping kerosene. This bitchy blend is a wino’s wet dream loaded to the screw off cap with alcohol. The ruby-colored varietal boasts a bouquet of smoke with hints of rhubarb and cherry. Notes of citrus and raspberry hit the palette and a fleshy twang of clove surprises on the finish. This is the sort of rocket fuel that can make a simple dessert go from small talk to total loss of decorum after a few large glasses. As a serious professional, I’ve posited that gimmick wines are a fool’s game, but this provocative and aptly named Grenache goes for the grapes and leaves you hung-to-the-O.
On the world-renowned SMS scale (1-10) I rate this Bitch a 6. It drinks like a four but I added two points for style.
Suggested pairings: Vanilla Bean ice cream, chocolate cake and an Ambien.
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Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment
