Our Culture of the Cringe-y Overshare
Sep 2nd, 2011
by Alexis Novak
When I asked my former student and current babysitter Stephanie how she would grade my parenting she quickly replied, “B plus. Have to take off a few points for your oversharing”. I laughed though I’m still perplexed why my 20-year-old babysitters don’t want to know about the wonders of childbirth, specifically as it relates to new moms eating their placentas. I was trying to prep her for the gore. But OK. Fine. No more vulva-tearing jokes for you Steph.
I thought we had all become immune to oversharing in our social-media-obsessed culture, tweeting and Facebooking every mundane detail of our daily lives. “Eating a grilled cheese, dipping it in tomato soup. Yummo.” On any given day, I know who went for a run, who has diarrhea from bad Mexican food, who is hung over, who is composting and who got a new hairdo. Thanks Facebook!
The problem might be that I am overly logged into my Facebook account, but still, I’m constantly stunned by the cringe-y overshares. Nowhere is there a better stage for acting out one’s inner middle schooler.
The top five offenders that surely bug the hell out of you too:
5. Chicken Littles- These people write cryptic cry-for-help messages to illicit response, making you feel emotionally manipulated. Chicken-Little-Drama-Queens say things like “I can’t go through this all over again; never going to make it” or “I do not deserve this”. Then everyone says, “Are you ok? Worried about you. Call me later.” It’s a private convo made visible that should stay invisible. (I swear whole mood disorders could be diagnosed based on people’s statuses alone.) If you play Chicken Little I will ask you only the first five times you post suicidal-sounding statuses if you are alright. After that, another sap will have to give you their attention. Please understand, “I have asses to wipe.”
4. Paris Hiltons- “Cannes was so boring this time of year. Rained all three weeks we were there”. Seriously? We feel terribly for you that you don’t know how to spend your inheritance/can’t find a Neiman’s/your Range Rover is two years old. We are in an effing recession; show some sensitivity to the common folk.
3. Status Stabs- “Some people know how to be a REAL friend. You know who I am talking about!” Passive-aggressive status stabs for the world to see. How clever. I wish I could say that my former students in their twenties are the vengeful culprits but I have seen many a mom write these posts too.
2. Low Jacks- I am private; I do not want people to know where I am until I’ve left for fear of being stalked. Other people “check-in” everywhere. This is an especially good weapon following a break-up or divorce to show your ex how many cool bars you frequent now that you’re single and on the prowl. Or to paint your life Fabulous to people who you went to high school with who thought you were a loser; another type of social media revenge. Which brings me to the point that a whole carefully edited existence can be marketed and sold, your Facebook life, which may not be anything like your actual life at all.
But by far the worst oversharers are The Breeders, a.k.a,
1. Mommy Bloggers- Suddenly, social media has made everyone a writer and anything new moms have to say about their children must then be relevant, right? Stay-at-Homes vs. Working Moms, breast-feeders vs. formula givers, cloth diapering tips, homemade baby food ideas, minivans, vaccines, and Mother-In-Law tirades. New moms either blog about sewing, or their new photography biz, or hair bows they make in their living rooms and sell on etsy.com. But there are only so many baby-centric topics to discuss before it gets stale. OH. Wait a sec.*
*Alexis doesn’t consider herself a Mommy Blogger per se, even though other people may define her that way. She does have an actual writing degree from an accredited university and considers her real self pretty Fabulous even if she has selected her Facebook pics to include only those featuring her former, pre-children bod when she was actually quite hot. Also, she understands very little about mothering, as evidenced by the fact that she has been bribing her toddlers with multiple cups of mini marshmallows for the duration of the time it took her to write this piece.
Related Posts
Written by Alexis Novak • 6 Comments
patty Fri, Sep 2, 9:35am