by Alexis Novak

My lifeline to relative sanity and contentment- our very first real babysitter- is soon leaving the country for good.  Besides that I think she is unforgiveably selfish for leaving me in my time of need, she is young and her life is deliciously spread out before her with bad choices to make and fun regrets to be had; a stage that must be embraced fully.  This is what I tell her because I am happy for her.  But I am tweaking out for myself as I am in the mom stage of intense and sometimes crushing responsibility. I need help. Hands.  I cannot revert back to the stressed, overwhelmed mom I was pre-sitter who never hit the gym or found time to pluck her eyebrows.

So I placed a heart-warming ad on a site that is supposed to take care of this sort of thing for 30 bucks.  They even rate sitters on a percentage matching scale based on key words.

I couldn’t help feeling like finding a good babysitter for us was exactly like dating. Painful.  Slow. Confusing. Never really knowing what the hell the other person is thinking. The awful waiting to hear back after you put yourself out there. The hoping against hope that someone will want you as much as you want them.  Turns out, dating’s even worse than I remember.

The ones we really liked and messaged didn’t message me back.  The ones I would never like messaged me even though they had zero traits my ad stated we are looking for.  One Granny-Nanny emailed with me for a week and just when I was beginning to fall for her with her Southern sweetness and ultra-respectful emails, she dumped me. “Geographically undesirable in a time of rising gas prices,” she wrote in a good-bye email. Ouch. Wasn’t I good enough to make the 20-minute drive for?

Then there was the sorority girl who launched into her demands and her packed schedule before our first date. Her emails read like texts to a sorority sister.  On meeting: “Day and time????” Her terse tone sounded like she was doing us a favor-no doubt her own dating attitude.

Some posted professional-modeling-looking pictures that translated as either scary or pretty, we couldn’t decide.  We just knew one in particular made us uneasy. Those photos with piercing eyes said something like “remember Rebecca De Mornay in ‘The Hand that Rocks the Cradle’”?  more than,  “I can’t wait to change your baby’s poopie diaper”, which was the look I was seeking.

Initially, my dream sitter had preschool experience, a college degree, creativity, a flexible morning schedule, a kind face, years of babysitting. Now I’ve whittled my expectations down to someone who is kind and able to keep my precious bambinas safe and semi-entertained for the hour and a half that I check in with myself. Or groom.

Just like dating, you find your match when you least expect to. For me this was on Facebook where a former student who was a favorite of mine joked about “sitting on babies” as her job. I messaged her that second.  She was available ASAP.  Could do flexible hours. Couldn’t wait to meet my kids (and hopefully wipe their butts).  This was it. After all the frogs and missed connections, I found my Happily Ever After Sitter, whom I already know and love.

She starts working for me next week and no, I can’t give you her name or number.

Written by Alexis Novak • Leave a comment

Name: Lily Jaffy

Kids: 2 sons

Occupation: Personal Trainer, Nutritionist, Writer

Hometown: Boca Raton, Florida

H&H Interview with Lily:

1.  What are the top 3 items in your grocery cart?

Kale, Broccoli, Quinoa as I am a vegetarian and quinoa is a great source of non meat protein and also a great healthy carbohydrate. Kale and broccoli because they are very high in nutrients and minerals and vitamins and green equals lean. But it is very hard to nail it down to my top 3!

2.  What are you reading (honestly)?

The inflammation Syndrome by Jack Challem. Im also reading the PH Balance Miracle by Robert O Young, I am not one for fiction. There is so much I still want to learn. And there are so many health and weight loss theories out there I like to read what I can and take bits and pieces that make sense to me to try to help clients that have more challenging problems losing weight.

3. What is your guilty pleasure when you get some coveted ‘me time’?

I don’t get much “me time” at all but if I am lucky enough to have a day I like to start it with a great gym session where I am not being rushed because I have somewhere I have to be. I like to get a blow dry and meet a friend for lunch and catch up with them. I love reading magazines simply to look at the pictures without feeling like I should be reading a book with more knowledge. A day with nowhere in particular to be at no in particular time is a great “me” day  That would be my favorite “me” day with a massage thrown in of course!

4.  What would we be surprised to find in your purse?

Is anything in a Women’s purse really a surprise? Lol We seem to manage carrying everything but the kitchen sink. Probably my “bible” which is a book called The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind. It is a great book you can just open and read a few pages to remind me to stay positive on those days where it may be a struggle. It keeps me on a positive track of thinking and can change my mood in an instant. I take it everywhere I go. I never leave home without my makeup bag. You never know when you need a touch up or need to look your best last minute.

5.  What is your favorite reality TV show?

I must admit I LOVE the Housewives of everywhere and anywhere. I am currently watching the Miami Housewives. I like a little mindless television to quiet the mind sometimes. I love Dr.Oz and I love Dancing with the Stars but I have not any chance to watch tv lately.

6.  What is your cocktail of choice?

I don’t really drink cocktails but if I did I would say a mojito. I usually stick to red wine in moderation.  I usually only drink as a little social lubricant. I have just never been much of a drinker.

7.  What is the funniest thing your kids have said or done lately?

They make me laugh every single day and I am lucky enough to say plenty of times a day but it would have to be when my younger son (11) told me that all the girls in his class have a crush on him and he wanted to thank me for making him such a “chick magnet”. He was absolutely serious.

8.  What is your favorite quotation?

I LOVE inspirational quotes but my favorite of late is “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want to happen, to happen”

9.  What do crave on your diet cheat day?

PIZZA AND BBQ CHIPS!!! I love cheese and bread or cheese and anything. I absolutely love pizza and chips.

10.  Who is your favorite celebrity mom and why?

I would have to say Brooke Burke. I realize celebrities have a lot of help with beauty and with kids ect but she embodies beauty from the inside out and really makes an effort to connect with other real life moms to give advice and be a source of information for them through her website and her blogs. I love that she takes keeping fit seriously and understands the importance of giving yourself that time each day so that one can be more productive for our children and others. She seems to embody that balance.  She is beautiful and also a great, loving  Mom and she always seems to be with her kids and gives off such a relaxed, positive energy. I just love to see pictures of her with her kids.  I also love seeing that she includes her kids in many of her charitable ventures. My second would have to be Jenny MCcarthy for her incredible efforts in the fight against autism and her incredible strength and sense of humor in dealing with a tragic situation of having a child suffering with autism.

11.  What is one thing most people don’t know about you?

That I am intelligent and truly devoted to helping others become fit, healthy and spiritually healthy. I find people are often surprised once they get to know me that I actually know my stuff. A lot of people assume personal trainers are gym rats that only care about working out all day and working on their own bodies for simple aesthetic results but it is much more than that for me. It is about a healthy body AND a healthy mind and changing lives. I am often not able to get my workouts in as much as I would like because I am too busy helping others. The other thing people might be surprised to know, is that I am actually very shy. I hide it well but I am terrified of large amounts of people and crowded rooms.

12.  What is your secret to staying Hot & Healthy?

Eating as healthy as one can, meditation , exercise and BALANCE. I find it very stressful to put yourself under such enormous pressure to do everything right, everyday. Even eating clean and exercising.  People can put themselves under so much pressure that when they can’t live up to their own expectations they are stressed out, down on themselves and miserable. That combination does NOT equal hot or healthy. I really try get it through to my clients and friends that putting themselves under so much pressure to be perfect everyday causes so much stress which is very damaging to ones health and hotness!!!

*Thanks, Lily!*

Written by Lea Barlow • 2 Comments

In June, H&H will be featuring the men behind the moms! If you have a hot man in your life who you think would like to be profiled please send in a photo and the answers to the questions below to lea@hotandhealthymom.com or enter through the contact page.

Name:

Kids:

Occupation:

Hometown:

1. How has fatherhood changed you for the better?

2.  What is your guilty pleasure when you get some coveted ‘guy time’?

3.  What is your on-duty babysitting secret incident? (Example: my husband JUST told me that Tennison almost choked to death on an acorn while I was at the gym – two years ago!)

4.  What is your secret to staying Hot & Healthy?

*Enter your men now, ladies!*

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment

I try my hardest not to put any white colored food into my body. Most white or beige colored foods are highly processed and full of sugar. On occasion, I will throw a teeny tiny scoop of basmati into my curry but that’s as far as I go. The healthier alternative to white rice has always been the brown version. Brown rice is a better option because it contains more fiber and lipid-soluble antioxidants (the really good ones) than white rice.  White rice is simply brown rice with the outer shell removed.  When the shell is removed, so are some nutrients. I personally don’t care for the taste of brown rice so I forgo it all together. But now I have another choice: Black Rice. Sounds sort of sexy and exotic doesn’t it? In the east it was commonly referred to as ‘forbidden rice’ because only the royals were allowed to eat it. It was thought to be much more superior to white rice. Turns out they were correct.

Like most purple-hued foods, black rice contains anthocyanins, an excellent antioxidant food source that is a perfect component for cancer prevention, is linked to a decreased risk of heart disease and helps with improving memory. One spoonful of black-rice bran – or 10 spoonfuls of cooked black rice – contains the same amount of anthocyanin as a spoonful of fresh blueberries but with less sugar content, according to a study presented at the American Chemical Society, in Boston.

Okay, now we know it’s super healthy but how does it taste??  Truthfully, the flavor is not going to be for everyone. It’s chewier than brown rice and has a deep, nutty flavor with a hint of floral. Hmm, sounds kind of like a wine review. It’s also not as adaptable a side dish like it’s white and brown versions. Try it with this recipe from Epicurious with sweet potatoes or this one with shrimp from Food & Wine.

It’s important to remember the health benefits of black rice lie in the bran, so choose whole-grain varieties when shopping.  Look for “whole black rice” at the top of the ingredients list. Try it and let me know what you think!

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment