I have a love/hate relationship with my boobs.  This is mainly because their size fluctuates so much and so often. Here is the maddening timeline of my boob evolution:

Teen years: 32 D.  This was the golden era for my boobs.  Full, perky and ready to party.

Early 20′s: 34 B.  Birth control was introduced and my once large pups disappeared.  I also attribute this shrinkage to losing that extra teen poundage that is flattering when you are 16 but just looks chubby when you hit 25.

Pregnancy years:  36 DD.  Holy sweet boobs, Batman!  I was thrilled to get my girls back. So was my husband and my kids found them useful as well for a few weeks.  But these boobs came with a stiff penalty…

1 year post baby: Bye-bye boobies. I like to refer to this dark time as the “great boob depression’.  I don’t know my bra size from this period. I do know that they were flat, stretched and just plain sad.  If only I could have borrowed some of that remaining pregnancy back fat to stuff in my bra.

Present time: Back to a 34 B.  I am at peace with my girls.  They don’t look great but I have finally found a fantastic bra that is comfortable and gives the illusion that I could possibly be mistaken for a C cup.

Future:  My main priority for their future is to keep them healthy.  Secondarily, I must strategically keep my husband away from me. I actually think he would knock me up again just to get the DD’s back.

Written by Lea Barlow • 2 Comments

by Alexis Novak

I had one of those Mom of the Year moments this week, when both kids were screaming bloody murder, one in timeout and the other pissed that her sister was hitting those decibels, that I had to lock myself in my bathroom, in an attempt to tune out the madness for three minutes. It was between that or stabbing out my eyes. This stay-at-home-mom gig is exponentially more challenging than I ever imagined. Silly me, with my fiery Irish and Sicilian heritage, thought this would be easier. I once attended graduate school full-time and taught high school full time for 26 arduous months. That stress nearly broke me. Still, this is harder.

This is why I am wholly irked by an undercurrent I have been sensing recently. There is a stay-at-home-mom backlash brewing. You would think that this antiquated debate of working moms vs. stay-at-homes went the way of the shoulder pads in the 90’s. But no. It just morphed into something less obvious and more passive-aggressive.

Some fresh examples:

In one episode of my favorite show “Parenthood” last season, lawyer-working-mom Julia yells about her arch nemesis stay-at-home-mom at a school awards ceremony, “And she doesn’t even WORK!” (her tone equivalent to “And she sacrifices baby goats!!!). The crowd gasps that she revealed such a prejudice.

My cousin Cavan who is more like my sister was recently with Junior League moms and experienced “Stay-at-Home-Mom-Stigma”. The women were all congratulating a mom with a six week old who had just gone back to work. “Good for you for going back so soon. Yeah, we are all working moms here…except Cavan”.  Then they all glared at her like she was a freak. Really!? Cavan held her head in shame and then bawled her eyes out right into her coffee. Not really. She was shocked that she was being ostracized for her choice. Could a group of SAHM’s ever shame the single working mom in the group and say, “How does it feel to have the daycare raising your child?” No, that would not be kosher. Somehow the same rules do not apply the other way. I find it is socially expected that the stay-at-homes gingerly tiptoe around the working moms’ guilt, apologizing for themselves. Or sit there silently as my cousin had to do.

Then at a birthday party recently, a working mom said to me abruptly, “Some people actually like their jobs!” I was taken aback by her defensiveness as if she was preparing to be judged by me when the truth was I could have cared less. My smart-ass self wanted to say, “Yes, and some people actually like to be with their children!” Again, this wouldn’t have gone over too well. I am defensive too when I hear these types of comments because a., they insult my intelligence, b., I am far from the pampered princess type and c., I will also be a working mom as soon as my kids hit kindergarten. I plan to have it all, just not at the same exact time.

Our own mothers had to work full-time and care for the kids afterwards to prove they could do it all in the era of “Working Girl”, the glass ceiling and the masculine business suits. That was their contribution to the women’s movement and they sacrificed for our generation to have choices. I am thankful to them and my own entrepreneurial mother who worked her butt off my entire life. I am also appreciative that unlike generations before me, I have choices. Why then do we criticize moms who make a different choice than we do? Majority of my friends are working moms and I don’t judge them as if my lifestyle is better. There are pros and cons to each. My working mom friends are doing their best by their family. And my choice to be home was best for mine. No apologizes.

I know what you are thinking. This is a hot button topic and one with heavy socioeconomic implications, especially in this economic climate. That SAHM’s are of a privileged class. However, the statistics tell an opposing story- since 2000, more women from all socioeconomic levels are choosing to stay home to raise their tots full-time. In a 2005 study, the U.S. Census Bureau reported an estimated 5.6 million stay-at-home moms. This is a 22% increase from the mid-nineties. To me, this could be a by-product of Corporate America’s inflexibility to offer flex time and job sharing to keep their new moms in the office post-baby. There is also the rising cost of daycare to contend with vs. one’s take home pay. As a teacher, I would have brought home very little take home after paying childcare and we weren’t lucky enough to have free family care like many of my working friends.

Please hold the bon bon and soap opera jokes. I am not on vacation. All moms are working moms, some are just compensated better. Even so, I would like to envision moms as being all on the same team; a united front. I do not want to be the chick that introduces herself at cocktail parties this way, “Hi, I’m Alexis. I’m a stay-at-home mom. But I have a Master’s degree and I graduated Summa Cum Smarter Thank You, thank you very much”. This sounds a tad insecure, right?

Written by Alexis Novak • Leave a comment

Name: Michelle Murray

Kids: Thomas 9, Faith 7, & Madeline 3

Occupation: Recording Artist

Hometown: Chicago, IL, Hilton Head Is. SC & currently residing in Nashville, TN

H&H Interview with Michelle:

1. What are the top 3 items in your grocery cart?

Only 3? Besides the basics- bread, milk & eggs; fruit, peanut butter, cheese, hummus or salsa, & the necessary dark chocolate.

2. What are you reading (honestly)?

Women’s Health, Joel Osteen & always various children’s books

3. What is your guilty pleasure when you get a break from the kids?

Well, I usually workout with any break from the kids, catch up with friends or watch a good show with some dark chocolate.

4. What would we be surprised to find in your purse?

Entertainer’s Secret Aloe Throat Spray or a pair of my little one’s (clean) socks-just found those the other day.

5. What is your favorite reality TV show?

Hmm…I don’t watch too much television and don’t have a favorite but when I do, I catch episodes of some of these: America’s Got Talent, Dancing With The Stars, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Survivorman, Dirty Jobs, Undercover Boss.

6. What is your cocktail of choice?

Funny you should ask because the “Michelle Murray Signature Cocktail” will debut as part of Bottles-Up Inc. Company launch on Oct. 19 at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. I also enjoy a good Red Wine every once in awhile.

7. What is something most people don’t know about you?

I’m Italian and was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago, even though I’m a Country Artist in Nashville- usually no one can guess my background. Also- that I played classical violin in orchestra for 14 years.

8. What is the funniest thing your kids have said or done lately?

Well, the funniest things always come out of our 3 year old-daily, however, I’ll never forget what our daughter Faith said when she was little and we were standing in the very crowded Santa Claus picture line. We were in that stage of learning the difference between boys and girls (her brother is 2 years older) so they liked to bring it up now and then- you know-who has what parts, so I thought we were sort of passed that when our daughter curiously asks out loud, very loud, in the Santa line, “So mommy, does Santa have a penis?” Oh great- what can you say to that in front of lots of people…so I simply replied, “Well, is Santa a boy? Then yep, Santa’s got a penis.” So- sorry to those other parents who probably had to have conversations later with their kids after hearing that-haha…..so much for discretion.

9. What is your favorite quotation?

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” John 15:13

Also-I’ve seen this on motherhood: “If it were going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor” -Barbara Johnson

10. What are you currently working out to on your iPod?

I don’t workout with an iPod. I like to sweat, feel the burn and focus on the workout.

11. Who is your favorite celebrity mom and why?

I like many of them but I’ve always respected Martina McBride. Her husband is so involved in her career with their 3 children & I have always wanted to talk to her about her journey and how she balances it all.

12. What is your secret to staying Hot & Healthy?

Drink lots of water, eat well balanced meals, workout 4-5 days a week with a mix of strength training & cardio (running, biking), Pilates, yoga, etc… it’s definitely my lifestyle.  I love doing anything active and I usually take my kids with me, they’ll bike while I run or do some of my workout DVD’s with me.  I just do whatever I can whenever I can do it. Most importantly, trying to have balance and being happy & content with myself.

To find out more about Michelle follow her on Facebook, and Twitter and view her performance on youtube.

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment

Me, the hubs, kids and in-laws are all headed to Maine for a few days to see the beautiful fall foliage. This will be a much needed break from the oppressive Florida heat that seems to stretch well into October.  We have several car trips under our belt but this will be the first plane ride with 2 kiddos in-tow. Supposedly, the airline we are flying doesn’t assign seats.  Do you think we will get lucky enough to sit separate from the monsters?

Here is a glimpse of what we will be doing…

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Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment