by Alexis Novak

Once, I was a Breastfeeding Super Hero. Envision me this way: Boppy pillow in my lap cradling my ballistic infant, then nursing in the glow of a Housewives rerun while a laundry pile graffittied with refluxing baby stains reproduced in the corner. My couch had a permanent butt crater that welcomed me to my new post and full time job as Milk-Maid. Moooo.

Nothing about this new position came easily to me. I survived latching problems, dairy and soy allergies, mastitis, two long nursing strikes, and serious, level 12 pain every time I nursed. The pain rendered me speechless. I tried to breathe into it and over it like a searing labor contraction for the first two minutes of every session. Surrendering to the pain didn’t help ease the grinding glass sensation. In the dead of night, white hot electric zaps deep in my chest wall jolted me awake. This happened with both my sweet, screaming babes born 21 months apart.

My doctor blamed a nasty thrush infection but said he had never seen one so defiant. The Lactation Ladies at my hospital always said my name with a “oh, that poor girl” tone when I made my S.O.S. calls. Yet my overachieving nature would not let me stop. I viewed breastfeeding as my first test of new motherhood and I was not going to fail; I was going to be a Good Mom. And in the end, it wasn’t worth all that I went through. Not even close.

Today, “breast is best” is the mantra of the breeding masses, and the rest of the moms that fall into the Other category feel shamed into mixing their powder and water under the table, away from judging glances. New moms are first pressured in the post-partum units when nurses grab their boob and shove it near their newborn’s mouth. In breastfeeding support groups, moms are taught of the miraculous health benefits (i.e., “Look Mom, less ear infections!”) but what of the downside? You can’t leave your baby for more than 3 hours. You are the only one that gets up at 12 and 2 to nurse your child. The division of labor with your partner is unbalanced and will be until you wean, and you aren’t supposed to wean until at least your baby’s first birthday, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

It is easy to understand then that the perfect storm of new mom guilt, confusion and concern causes moms to obsess over breastfeeding and succumb to the pressure. Clearly, I wasn’t the first. Moms start to believe the hype that “liquid gold” will ensure perfect SAT scores and Viking-like immune systems, and that to not nurse is to love your child less. The problem is that killing myself to breastfeed was never going to give me what I ultimately wanted- the confidence that I was doing a decent job and not drowning in my mom self-doubt. Feeding our babies is obviously not the only way we bond with and nurture them.

While friends, aunts, my mom, my step-mom, and my neighbor told me to stop, it wasn’t until my doctor called me at home, twice, and said the exact same thing. He told me that I had done a good job and it was time to let it go. I cried, but agreed. I was finally able to give myself permission to stop after my 9-month long boob battle.

By the time I had Nursing Nightmare Number II: The Sequel, with my second daughter, I received the correct diagnosis- a circulatory disorder that physically disables me from nursing. At that point, I was over trying to be a Super Hero.

Because it’s genetic my daughters might be unable to nurse their own children one day but whatever choice they make in the breast vs. bottle debate I will stand behind them. And I smile thinking of the millions of other ways I will guide and support them throughout their own motherhood adventures, whatever they may bring.

New H&H contributor, Alexis, lives in St. Petersburg, FL with her husband and her two dairy-allergic, acid-refluxing, sassy daughters.

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment

Here I sit with a swollen, scabbed nose grieving my youth. Until about 2 years ago I never had any real reason to go to the dermatologist.  But after hitting the big 3-0 my derm and I are now practically BFFs.  I see her so often that I’m actually considering making her a godparent to one of my kids so I can qualify for the family discount. Today’s visit involved the removal of some newly formed ‘things’ from my nose.  These ‘things’ have a name but I can’t pronounce it and frankly, I just want to forget they were ever there.  My main concern was why these bumps suddenly made an appearance.  Her response?  ”These thing happen. You aren’t that young anymore.” Ouch.  Maybe I am should rethink our bestie status.  Although I am thankful for each day on this planet, I have to say, it’s a bitch getting old.

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment

Name: Christie Bruner

Kids: Gracie (turns 5 at the end of August) and Jocelyn (2 ½)

Occupation: Baby Boot Camp owner & swimming instructor

Hometown:  Downers Grove, IL ~ this month marks seven years in St Petersburg, FL

H&H Interview with Christie:

1. What are the top 3 items in your grocery cart?
* Tuna fish (I’m a vegetarian, but while pregnant with Jocelyn I craved tuna and now eat it frequently!)

* Simply Gogurt for the kids, they love ‘em frozen (the “Simply” variety has no high fructose corn syrup, thank goodness)

* Bananas – we go through two or three a day!

2. What are you reading (honestly)?

I don’t have a very long attention span, so most of my reading is done in short spurts.  Right now I am leafing through “Muscle & Fitness 101 Fat Burning Workouts and Diet Strategies” to get some new tips and ideas for Baby Boot Camp classes, as well as Bob & Kathy McKay’s “Learn to Swim” for some great techniques in baby swimming.

3. What is your guilty pleasure when you get a break from the kids?
Hmmm…haven’t had a break in a while.  I might get one or two days a week that both the kids take a short nap at the same time, and I’ll watch a DVR of “Toddlers and Tiaras”.  Puts life into perspective…

4. What would we be surprised to find in your purse?

What’s a purse??  I’m still in diaper bag mode.  With my little one almost out of diapers I daydream about a wonderful purse I will be able to utilize soon.  I guess something that I always throw in the diaper bag is crayons and paper, both my girls love to draw and it’s our go-to activity for waiting rooms, long lines, etc.

5. What is your favorite reality TV show?
The Biggest Loser is a big favorite of mine, but I’m also looking forward to the new season of The Apprentice. These are shows that my hubby will appreciate and watch with me.  Gotta DVR the “guilty pleasures”…Toddles and Tiaras, Real Housewifes, Next Food Network Star…

6. What is your cocktail of choice?
Oh – Amaretto Stone Sour.  The “stone” means with a bit of orange juice…so many bartenders don’t know this but it’s a great addition to the drink!

7. What is the funniest thing your kids have said or done lately?
From Gracie, “Did you know, mommy?  Humans can only marry humans, and mermaids can only marry mermaids.”  This wasn’t right after watching Little Mermaid or anything…she really must have been thinking about it!

8. What is your favorite quotation?
Whether you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T…you’re right. ~Henry Ford

9. What are you currently working out to on your iPod?
I like the Biggest Loser workout mixes, it saves me some time searching around for individual songs I like and is a good compilation for an entire workout.

10. Who is your favorite celebrity mom and why?
Dara Torres is absolutely inspiring.  She is a five-time Olympian and her last games were AFTER her daughter was born!  It was so amazing to see how she came back after pregnancy and achieved her dreams.

11. What is something most people don’t know about you?
That I’m not very organized!  I stay pretty busy between BBC, swimming and also IronMommies – a running group for moms.  I do struggle to balance time for both family and business quite often.  It truly is my passion to inspire and help women step outside their comfort zone and reach their goals.  It is also my passion to raise two beautiful, healthy and smart girls in a loving environment.  I just wish there were more hours in the day!

12. What is your secret to staying Hot & Healthy?

I would say that moms need to keep in mind that being “Hot and Healthy” is a lifestyle change, not a diet or a quick fix.  My biggest pet peeve is seeing magazine or TV commercials for diet pills or products that will help you lose 20 pounds in 20 days.  It sounds too good to be true, but people want to believe it so they do.  So my secret?  Everything in moderation.  Well balanced diet, exercise, good friends and have FUN!

* Check out Christie’s webpage at babybootcamp.com!

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment

There are two things my little one is obsessed with right now: 1.  mothering everything in sight  2.  watching baking tutorials on youtube.  I came across this rather amazing recipe on Sprinkle Bakes and immediately knew that she would love to make these tiny, baby donuts.  Luckily for everyone’s waistline, they are baked and not deep fried.  I don’t think I could trust her around a deep fryer.  Though at times a little messy, baking with my kids has become one of our favorite past times. Cooking with mama is fun but baking, well baking is just guaranteed goodness.

Click here for more baby donuts

Written by Lea Barlow • Leave a comment