by Alexis Novak
As I engaged in potty-training combat with my toddler over the last year, I began envisioning her walking into her middle school classroom wearing giant Princess Pull-Ups. I started and stopped the training a dozen times when potty-resistant Punky didn’t seem ready. It’s been a long year. But last week Punky turned 3 and her August preschool deadline crept uncomfortably closer, especially since I signed school paperwork that claims my child will be “potty proficient” by then. Tick Tock, tick tock.
First I turned to my family. Family folklore has it that my dad potty-trained my brother and me in our kitchen in two days when we were both under three. He has no recollection of how he did this; I’ve asked many times. My mom, who said she was too impatient to train us herself, has no memory of how my dad did it either. My husband and his then-Assistant-Principal mom had Spring Break Potty Showdown ‘81 that ended in suppositories and a serious battle of wills that we still joke about today. And my step-mom said my sister completely trained herself, just deciding to ditch diapers one day.
Needing a little more to go on, I asked my girlfriends for advice.
A had success with the 3-day naked method. L said not to sweat it, that I had lots of time. C said it was a process that can take months. And years ago, T described potty training as “the first real crisis” of parenting. She is an actress so I thought she was being melodramatic. Not so much.
Before I fully committed, I tried to skim books to make sure I was going about PT the right way but then quickly decided I couldn’t stomach another “How to _______ for Dummies” read. Parenting books can be insulting to your intelligence, sanctimonious, preachy. The last thing an anxious parent needs is to be called a dumb-ass. I like to figure things out on my own anyway, so I dove in with the No-Real-Plan Plan.
Now in PT week two, I think we’re hitting our stride. Here is the wisdom I have gleaned in the hopes it could help you:
1. My toddler is a Taurus. This means she is a stubborn little bull and everything must be her idea. If I want her to think it’s her idea I have to gently massage my idea into her brain without her catching on. (Much like a husband). But sometimes I get frustrated and have to wrestle her to the potty, while she attempts to break free and throw a hissy fit. Then she pees down her leg which I believe in the animal kingdom translates to, “You can’t control me biyatch”. So I have to be subtle. And use bribes…
2. M&M’s work. A little bit. I am generally against “food as reward” systems but chocolate can rule a toddler. I might be trading cavities for diapers but after three years’ worth of zillions of diapers, I am OK with this tradeoff.
3. Some toddlers are terrified by the flushing mechanism and believe they will be sucked down into the watery vortex of the toilet. At least mine does. She will only work with her plastic one, the portable and pink Princess Potty. It comes everywhere with us. I take comfort in thinking that Cleopatra probably also traveled with her own private toilet contraption.
4. Whilst in the throes of p-training, you cannot actually leave your house. The days I braved outings were the days Punky had accidents. So I do brief stints everywhere and make her try before we leave.
5. The extra laundry is a bitch.
6. Daycare kids have a leg up. Sometimes I think I should have enrolled Punky in school earlier. Then she would have witnessed kids her age going to the bathroom and the peer pressure might have worked to my advantage. Some daycares actually potty train children. If your child gets potty-trained at their daycare don’t brag about it to me or I will stab you in the boob.
7. Whatever the major change, Day 5 will be hell. Day 5 is the day your child knows it is no longer a game and they want out. Day 5 Punky was on the floor screaming for a Pull-Up and by 7 p.m., I almost cracked.
8. Sibling rivalry is a blessing. Everyone joked with me that I should train both girls at once. First I thought this was insane but as our family is now potty-obsessed, this was not lost on my 15-month-old. Peachy has successfully used the potty and is extremely interested in all things Big Sister. It could work but I am not letting myself get too excited just yet…
9. My pediatrician told me that there are two types of potty-trainers. Ones who just “get it” all of the sudden and ones that put up a fight. I am praying for my own sanity that this theory is correct and that I have one of each.
10. Stick-to-itiveness. Consistency gets the job done and leaves you an exhausted shell of your former self. Since the end of the world didn’t come and relieve me of my potty trainee duties this week, I have no choice but to charge forward, dealing with one pee pee dance at a time.
Written by
Alexis Novak
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Name: Jaime Perry
Kids: Dean (6), Blaire (3)
Occupation: Middle School Counselor
Hometown: Chico, Ca
H&H Interview with Jaime:
1. What inspired you to begin training for your first bodybuilding competition?
I had been competing in triathlons for the past two years and after the second season, was extremely frustrated that my body had not changed at all! I was more active at that point that I had ever been in my life. I decided I was going to lose body fat instead of pounds. As I gathered more research on fat loss, I continued to come across bodybuilders and figure competitors. Then, I asked myself, “what do THEY do to look the way they do??” I hired my trainer, Valerie Cota with VIP Factor Personal Training and from the moment my body started to transform, I knew I was meant to compete. I was inspired by the hundreds of photos that I came across, and I so badly wanted to achieve that physique.
2. How did training for the competition change your everyday diet?
I spent the first few months just learning how to eat right. I had really bad eating habits prior to learning how to Eat Clean. That being said, my diet changed dramatically, for the better! I quickly learned how to eat more often (every 2 to 3 hours) and to eat MORE! Before Eating Clean, I would go all day without eating and once I got home from work, I would devour anything in sight! Looking back, it was such a bad habit and it was one of the reasons my body wasn’t changing. I also went from arriving to work with NO food in hand, to now bringing a HUGE bag of food to work. By the end of the work day it is all gone, and it is all good for me! As the competition grew closer, my diet became more strict and regulated. There were things that were eliminated and things that were reduced. The great thing about it all, is that it was doable. I’ll admit that it was boring, and daunting some days, but I cannot wait to do it again!!!
3. What is your go-to ‘Cheat Day’ treat?
Honestly, I don’t cheat that much. What I consider a cheat, would probably not be what someone else would consider a cheat. Chips and Salsa are definitely something I love to snack on, but have to limit of course. Most recently though, after the competition, I did indulge in some Flipz (chocolate covered pretzels) that my girlfriends gave me! They were SO good!!!
4. How do you instill the importance of an active lifestyle with your family?
Our kids have always been involved in our active lifestyle. For example, they have attended several of my triathlons as well as my husbands. We have participated in local running events as a family and they love going to the gym with us! The most important thing that I incorporated into the family was the healthy lifestyle in terms of diet. My kids were not big fans of vegetable before, but now they are not afraid to try new things or eat their veggies!!
5. What is your guilty pleasure when you get a break from the kids?
Reality TV!!! Specifically, any of the Real Housewives series, but my favorite being the Orange County group!! Not something I’m proud of, but I love the escape it provides from the day to day demands. There is something intriguing about watching someone
else’s problems, and being grateful they’re not your problems!!!
6. What would we be most surprised to find in your purse?
Listerine White Strips! Hey, you never know when you may need to brighten up your smile!
7. What is the funniest thing your kids have said or done lately?
The funniest thing my daughter said lately, was that I looked like a “brown monster” the day of my competition. I am naturally very fair skinned, so for her to see me with a deep dark tan, was alarming to her! She never quite got use to it, and she asked me to wash it off! Ironically, on the day of the competition I was feeling very beautiful and powerful, so for her to say that kind of surprised me! I didn’t take it personal though. You have to love their brutal honesty and not take it too seriously.
8. What is your favorite quotation?
“If it were easy, everyone would be doing it!” I know it sounds so cliché, but it is so true! I have to remind myself of this quote when things get tough or challenging in the gym or elsewhere, that it is supposed to be tough! It’s not supposed to be easy!
9. What songs are top on your iPod playlist right now?
My #1 song right now is Katy Perry’s Firework song! I know it may sound silly, but that song and the lyrics have been the driving force many a day as the motivation to reach the competition stage. Other songs that are on my playlist are On the Floor by J-Lo, Right Now by Van Halen and Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey. These are either songs that motivate by their lyrics or by their upbeat tempo.
10. Who is your favorite celebrity mom and why?
My favorite celebrity mom is Kelly Ripa, hands down! I admire her for a few reasons. Before I decided to do the competition, I always looked at Kelly Ripa and was amazed at how she transformed her body from the way she looked during her soap opera days, to the way she looks now. I always wondered HOW she changed her entire physique?? HOW can someone appear so different, almost like a different person?? After going through my own transformation, now I know! She amazes me with her work ethic surrounding the many jobs she holds, as well as the amazing mom and wife that she is! On top of all of that, she has an incredible positive energy about her that I admire!
11. What is one thing most people don’t know about you?
Some people know this, but most people probably don’t know that I am a huge worrier. I have gotten better (somewhat) as I have gotten older, but I worry about little things as well as big things. I worry about my kids, my husband, being on time, being late, etc… I try to be aware of it, and tell myself not to worry and enjoy the experience, whatever it may be. Life is too short, and I don’t want to waste my time with unnecessary thoughts.
12. What is your secret to staying Hot & Healthy?
My secret to staying Hot and Healthy is taking the time for myself, and being selfish at times to take care of myself. Often times as moms, we think we are putting ourselves first, but the majority of the time, we really aren’t. Now that my kids are at ages that they are more self-sufficient, I see the importance of taking care of myself FOR my kids! I want to be the best person for them and my husband, because in the end, we all win!! I don’t feel guilty taking time out for girl time, or getting a pedicure, or going shopping by myself. It’s important that we don’t lose our identity, but instead honor ourselves by taking care of ourselves.
*Thanks, Jaime!*
Top photo courtesy of Mike Byerly Photography
Written by
Lea Barlow
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